1. Today at the morning my stupid mother gave me worst wake up she could, disregarding that I'm fucking tired after standing for over 11 hours at work and I don't want to do anything when I come back because I can't do anything anymore. She literally forced me to clean up a bedroom I slept in when I barely could stand, then she started making scenes and trying to touch things and order things "in her way" (so mess up fucking everything, she started mixing my washed fabrics with unwashed and behaved like a narc when I became mad about this shit), threathened me that she'll damage my things, gave me a shit I bought some fabric (because of her I can't use it up!).
All because her stupid wedding and she invited my aunt over, with 3 days notice in the worst moment where I stay overtime and I have no energy later to do anyting. My other room has piled up things since two months ago and due to being constantly overworked I barely could try to clean it! She literally knew it but proceeded to kick me out from this bedroom leaving me without place to sleep, because in this other room my bed literally became storage space. I have to keep everything in my room, shit up the floor because I have nowhere to put things away and they give me shit for keeping my things anywhere else. Even my mother's retarded husband gave me a shit for occupying another room becase I have no place to sit down and do my things right now. No wonder I want to finally move out! I don't know where I'll sleep at this point.
I want you to realize this is soon 55 year old woman obsessed with being married in church because she became /pol/ tier religious schizo. She's on another sick leave so she had too much of free time and behaves in this exact way. Despite having civil ceremony before but nooo, it's not enough and she has to be married in worst moment possible because she still wants to be married in summer! Catholic marriage is one of biggest scams I swear, her current husband had to try for ages to get his previous marriage annuled, canonical courts make issues even in people are separated or there is enough of proof to get a marriage annuled. I know of a case where bride went missing after right the wedding but canonical court didn't even consider viable reason even after decades passed and bride wasn't found.
I barely can deal with this shit anymore. She used emotional blackmail to force me to go to this bullshit cringe fest. I get some young women falling on this scam, but not a 55 years old woman with scrote with history of agression against me who constantly berates me and wants to basically get rid of me. It's the worst type of man ever, the one who will "protect" few certain women he tolerates but outside is a ragining misogynist who will try to ruin lives of other women, especially ones who do something he doesn't like or is against me. I dealt with so many men like this online before and I have to stand one at home, no wonder I feel like garbage everyday!
2. I picked up my new Burdas. Two of them either missed a pattern sheet or it was a wrong issue. I hope to get one replaced, other one I found for low price from other seller. I'll have 6 more issues to buy to complete what I wanted. Additionally I got some more magazines from my country. 3 full years of Uroda was a blessing, now I'm only missing May 2001. I got some more Pani which back then was sister publication, the more intellectual (?) one? It was more women's general interest rather beauty focus. Including some post-2001 months, which made me want to explore mid 00s magazines more... I liked them because Pani wasn't so cutting edge fashion wise comapred to competition and it felt just nicer. Though I hate fashion post-2001. A/W 2001 was last decent season I swear.
I probably don't get the eclectic post 9/11 fashion because it's so busy and cuts were just so unflattering on runways, choices for average women in magazines until mid-2002 were pretty much more normal. Zoomer on contrary eat it up and created this unholy hybridized pastiche fashion, taking some of these fashions but pornifying them, pingeonholing in 5-piece "-cores", making everything mini lenght (when turn of the millennium was interesing as most of lenghts were hot! 90s went from a bit before the knee and minis to knee to ankle lenght by end, early to mid 00s had the most variance in hemline lenght actually as every one was fine. Knee lenght skirts from suits, minis for fashion crowd, long flowy skirts still were a thing - they dethroned long pencil skirt of very late 90s), the most illfitting shoes, sneakers with everything, etc.
It's because of shallow, surface level of understanding. Ladies who are into mid century fashion (not the pinup types, not them...) and earlier are dedicated enthusiasts and do their research to understand these fashions. I know average normal person won't, but revivals before tried to be love letter to original era, a sincere homage compared to cheap, shein-fueled pastiche which barely looks like fashion back then. It looks very current and even use of vintage pieces (usually styled terribly) doesn't make it any better.
3. I barely used my computer in past week. I didn't feel good enough to write anything. I was mad enough to sit down and write something. I want to do things again. I want to have energy to do these things. I want to get back to my hobbies. I want to have my space clean.
I still manage to keep my desktop empty, except my two work folders.